


Cut from the Dullest Knife

by fondonuts



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Tenten (Naruto), Childbirth, Gen, Mostly Gen, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Postpartum Depression, Suicide Attempt, Unplanned Pregnancy, cus you know i had to do it to em
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-01-05 07:52:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18361769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fondonuts/pseuds/fondonuts
Summary: After hiding her pregnancy from Konoha - and Shikamaru - for months, Temari makes Tenten deliver her secret baby. Trouble ensues, and Tenten attempts to deal with the aftermath while juggling her recent promotion to anbu and new relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I technically stopped watching Naruto very soon after Sai was introduced. I'm picking back up from the beginning, and I've kept up enough to know major plot points and how it ended (and the stuff with the kids) but I don't know some of the finer details. To keep myself out of trouble, and because I refuse to accept that Neji died, this diverges very much from the canon, but it's also not an AU because it takes place in their world so take that as you will.
> 
> Please enjoy.

Tenten cannot stop mumbling obscenities to herself as she cradles the slimy, bloodied creature in one arm, using her free hand to stroke Temari’s sandy blonde hair that’s damp with sweat.

“I can’t believe we did it,” she says, once she's composed herself a bit. Her heart is still beating at an overwhelming rate. “I can’t believe we fucking did it.”

Temari can’t even bring herself to open her eyes, she is so weak. Never has anyone seen her this vulnerable, but she needed help, so she knew it had to be Tenten. “We?  _ We _ didn't do anything! I pushed the fucking baby out!”

“Fair, fair, but you probably would've died in childbirth if not for me,” Tenten counters. She removes her hand from Temari’s head and holds the baby in both arms. It’s asleep - after she pulled it out and cut the umbilical cord, she slapped its behind like she’s seen doctors do on television, and it let out a scream, but she was able to coax it back to sleep with relatively little effort. Clearly, it took after its father in that regard. It has the same color hair, too. Tenten thinks that it's unfortunate that Temari’s genes didn’t shine through more. It has her eyes, though, and those are the best part of her, and it has inherited her brown skin - though, it’s not quite as dark, its chestnut-brown skin is the same shade as Tenten’s.

Tenten sighs wistfully at the newborn. “And I’m not even a medic. Fuck, little dude. We really did it.”

She stands, stealing a quick glance at Temari. Her panting has subsided, and her pained expression has softened, but she doesn't ask to hold the child, which is what usually happens in the movies. Because she is an orphan, and because she was never any good at medical things so she spent no time around hospitals, and because Temari is the first of their friend group to have a child, movies are Tenten’s only frame of reference for this sort of thing. She leaves the room, staring down at the baby in her arms. She washes it in the bathroom sink - which she was smart enough to disinfect before she started helping Temari - and wonders if she can look for something to weigh it on. She moves around the house for hours with the baby asleep in her arms. 

“Okay kid,” she whispers to the baby as she paces around in the living room, the day coming to a close, “let’s take a walk around Konoha. I’ll show you the sights.”

Tenten had a couple of days to prepare for this, because Temari alerted her that she was on her way to Konoha for the sole purpose of having Tenten deliver her baby, so she was able to steal enough from the hospital to survive a week, at least. But she doesn’t have a scale, and it seems of the utmost importance to record the baby’s weight, but really, she has to go outside to keep herself awake after over twenty-four hours without sleep. She dresses it, wrapping it up in two blankets, and uses one hand to scribble a quick note to Temari before leaving the house. She steps into the summer night, taking in the fresh air. The hospital is not far from her new home, a decision she and Neji made knowing that they would be in and out of it a lot, since they were both newly appointed anbu and both inept when it came to medical jutsu. They are the only two out of their friend group to have become anbu, because they are the only two who have no plans for children - Neji because he wants to wait until Hinata bullies the elders into abolishing the branch system, Tenten because she hates children.

Temari, Tenten realizes, had no plans for children either. Temari tried hiding her pregnancy at first, which wasn't hard because she tried to stay as far away from Konoha as possible once she started showing, but Gaara insisted that she tell Shikamaru. Tenten, of course, was told first. She remembers not expressing the surprise she felt, and promising to keep it a secret. Temari never ended up telling Shikamaru, and Gaara has been so busy with his duties that he hasn’t been to Konoha to discover this.

Shikamaru and Temari are an odd couple, to say the least. If Shikamaru had any concerns about Temari’s absence in the past six or so months, he hasn’t voiced them, at least not to Tenten. He and she aren't that close, but he knows that, second to him, she is closest to Temari out of their group, so he would come to her if he had questions about Temari’s whereabouts. Tenten chalks the lack of communication up to Shikamaru being busy with his duties as the advisor to the five Kage but job aside, he and Temari seem to have a resistance to other people knowing how much they love each other. Whatever the case, Temari would have to tell Shikamaru about the baby now, unless she plans on keeping him a secret. That would likely destroy their relationship. Though, even the fact that she hid her pregnancy in the first place is likely to cause irreparable damage.

“What are we going to do with you?” Tenten whispers to the baby asleep in her arms. They’ve reached the hospital, and she quickly prays that no one she knows is there on this night, either as an employee or a patient. She walks right through the front door, glancing in every direction, trying to spot a glimpse of pink or pale blonde hair. The nurse at reception is occupied with another person, so Tenten slips through without being noticed. She nabs a hospital gown from off a gurney outside a random room and ducks into another one to change into it. She takes her hair out of its signature buns and unwraps her braids, holding the baby all the while. With her dark hair falling down to the middle of her back, no one will notice who she is at first glance. She unravels one of the scrolls that doubles as a bracelet and does a quick sealing jutsu - with one hand, something she mastered after temporarily losing feeling in her left arm for months after the war - to store her clothes in it. She leaves the room with no evidence that she ever entered and follows signs to the maternity ward.

It’s relatively quiet. There are a few newborns in the nursery and they are all asleep. Tenten contemplates leaving the baby there just so she can gather things, but she decides against it. If anything happened to the baby, she would kill herself before Temari even got a chance to, so she would carry it around even though it will slow her down.

First, she finds a baby carrier that she can strap onto herself. She puts it on under her gown and secures the baby in it so that she is free to use both hands. She’ll have to move slowly, though, as not to wake it up, but it's a fair trade-off. Next, she finds diapers and swipes some of those, sealing them into her scroll. She happens upon a scale and places the baby on it. 3.4 kilograms. Seems fine to her, even though it was born a couple of weeks earlier than expected. After putting it back into the carrier, she looks for milk or formula stored somewhere.

Temari would have to check into a hospital at some point, so they could find out things Tenten couldn’t, like its blood type, or if it has any diseases. From what she remembers about learning laws in the academy, the baby would automatically be considered a Konoha citizen because of its paternity - or, would it? As far as she knew, that only matters if the parents are married, which Temari and Shikamaru are not. Still, to avoid any issues, Tenten assumes Temari will try to return to Suna as soon as possible to get the newborn registered as a citizen of her own village. What would Shikamaru do - what would Konoha do? Kakashi is a fine, just leader, but even he could not warrant the baby being raised solely in Suna if there is a possibility that he will develop the Nara clan’s shadow techniques. Temari, too, cannot move to Konoha so easily: she is the Kazekage’s - her brother’s - advisor, after all.

“What are we going to do with you?” Tenten asks the child for the second time that night, as if it will respond.

Once she finds what she needs at the hospital, she slips away just as quickly as she came in. She keeps her hair down to remain unnoticed as she makes the walk back to her small house - which, in actuality, is Neji’s house that she gradually moved into. It is away from the Hyuga compound because Neji, disheartened that the elders of the clan decided to keep the branch system following the death of Hiashi - who sacrificed himself to save Neji during the war - decided he would distance himself from the clan until Hinata is made its head. Because his curse seal, given to him by his uncle, was removed when Hiashi died, Neji is able to move freely, despite the protest of the clan elders who believe he should be marked a traitor to the clan, on par with Itachi Uchiha.

“I don’t envy you at all,” Tenten says to the still sleeping baby, putting her hand on its tiny back protectively, “born to parents that both come from important, powerful families. Even though I didn’t have the love of a family...neither did Neji, and look how big his is! And with all the shitty politics, too. I’ll take being an orphan any day.”

She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. For as long as she can remember, she wanted to be a legendary kunoichi and she believes she has succeeded: her name was forged into the minds of many when it was learned that she wielded the Basoshen during the war, and the Hokage has recently promoted her to anbu. The idea of living the life of a civilian nauseates her, but she wishes she could’ve been like Sakura, who has two civilian parents. She imagines that it’s hard for them knowing that their daughter is at risk of dying at any day, but Tenten is a selfish woman. She rather have normal parents worrying over her constantly than no parents at all.

“Well,” she whispers to the baby, “at least you’ll have a doting godmother - me, in case you aren’t aware - and two uncles that will love you very dearly.”

It stirs, making a quiet cooing noise, as if what she said pleases it, but otherwise remains asleep. If this is any indication, Tenten thinks, it’s going to be just like its father. Unless, of course, Temari keeps it away from Konoha, in which case, it might end up spunky like her.

It’s after midnight when Tenten unlocks the front door to her house and steps inside. Nothing seems out of place - none of the white furniture in the living room is moved, and though the walls are sparsely decorated with unique weapons Tenten has collected, not a single one has been touched. She slips off her shoes, leaving them by the front door, and heads toward the guest bedroom. Temari is no longer in the blood-soaked bed. The room smells sharply, something Neji will surely notice upon his return from his mission. She’d deal with that later. She leaves the room in search of Temari. Glancing down at the sleeping baby strapped to her chest, she notices for the first time, a trail of blood leading to the bathroom. She really had to figure out how she would clean all of this up before Neji returned.

She walks in, pushing open the door, and freezes in the doorway. She feels she should scream, but no sound comes out - how does one react to something like this? How does an anbu react to something like this?

Temari is lying in the marble bathtub, one arm hanging limp over the side of it. Blood stains the tub, the floor, Neji’s expensive bathroom rug. Each wrist is sliced horizontally with a clean slit. A puddle of blood pools on the floor from the wrist that hangs over the edge of the tub.

Ten falls to her knees, one hand firmly on the baby’s back. She scoots closer, pulling a towel off its rack, and presses into Temari’s wound. The blonde’s head turns, barely, slowly, and Tenten catches the faint upturn of the corners of her mouth. Tenten curses her inability to do medical ninjutsu for the second time that night.

Temari mumbles and the words come out slurred, almost like another language. “Sorry, Ten.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many things:  
> 1\. I got this idea while re-watching Shikamaru and Temari's chunin exam match and remembering how much I used to loooove this ship. It's honestly the best (and most valid) Konoha 12 canon het ship. Their chemistry was so powerful from the beginning and tbh the only one of the ships that Kishi actually wrote welll.....but anyways.
> 
> 2\. I really wanted to explore depression as it relates to childhood trauma (things I deal with myself), and I thought Temari, and Tenten, and Neji, (and just about any Naruto character tbh, these kids are fucked up) would be excellent characters to explore these themes with. I don't know much about postpartum specific depression because I have never been pregnant and I have no plans to ever get pregnant. If you feel that any of the subject matter was handled inappropriately PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know so I can learn from this and better myself.
> 
> 3\. I got information about whether the baby would be a Konoha or Suna citizen from the Narutopedia article about the Shikamaru Hiden light novel, and I got the idea of Hiashi sacrificing himself for Neji from a tweet from Twitter user beefysasuke, so credit to them for that!
> 
> 4\. I'm not sure if that depiction at the end is graphic enough for the warning or not but...please let me know in the comments if I should include it/give this fic a rating.
> 
> 5\. I don't know how long this fic is gonna be or what I'm going to do with it. It's very spur of the moment, and very much a character study on Temari - I was really thinking about her SO much after watching those Chunin Exam Arc episodes, but of course, Tenten is literally my soul so of course a story about Temari is from her perspective. I'm very predictable like that. Oh also, I'm black, so I made Tenten and Temari black, too. Sorry not sorry. It's probably safe to assume that everyone is black in my eyes (and also Japanese, because that is a thing, fyi).
> 
> 6\. I'm not sure how much the ships are going to factor in relationship-wise...I'm actually not sure of anything about where this fic is gonna go. It might be 3 chapters, it might be 30. It really depends on how my thought process develops as I continue re-watching Naruto.
> 
> 7\. Work title comes from Paramore's "Hate to See Your Heartbreak". I'm not sure I like it. Might change.
> 
> WITH ALL THAT SAID (cus I love to talk) I hope you enjoyed this chapter enough to continue on this journey with me!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenten is trying to handle the baby and handle Temari's suicide attempt. Luckily for her, she is not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning(s) for suicide attempt and suicide mention. 
> 
> I've introduced someone new but not who you'd think based on this story's summary. Did I already say this thing has a life of its own, I add to it when stuff comes to me, and I have no outline or real plan? Yeah. This chapter is primary evidence number one of that. I was minding my business and this character came into my thoughts like, "hey, I'm going to be in this story whether you like me or not". Now I'm rethinking plot points and ships...darn. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

“So, is there a particular reason you called me, instead of Ino, Sakura, or just about anyone else in the world?”

Tenten is frowning at the man sitting in front of her, and though she knows she should at least look pleased that he just saved her closest friend’s life, Tenten has never been good at masking her emotions. She is the one person of their generation who has never forgiven Sasuke Uchiha - even Kiba, who used to hate Sasuke as much, if not more than she does, has mellowed out. It isn’t that she hates Sasuke, more that she could never trust him again. It certainly doesn’t help that he is now trying to get in bed with one of her dear friends.

She has to admit, though, that he has his uses. For one, if it weren't for his careful work stitching her back together, and his knowledge of medical ninjutsu - not great, but better than Tenten’s - to deal with the loss of blood, Temari would be dead.

“You're the only person who doesn't care enough to tell anyone about this,” Tenten answers instead, because she refuses to give him a compliment. Sasuke’s expression furrows.

“You aren't taking her to a hospital? She needs better treatment and a psych evaluation.”

Tenten’s frown deepens and she crosses her arms. “Funny that you should say someone else needs a psych evaluation.”

She's pushing her luck. Sasuke glares, his dark eyes shining. She is powerful and no one can tell her otherwise, but she's never fought the last Uchiha and has no intention of doing it now. She tries to soften her expression. She contemplates apologizing, but she won't give him the satisfaction.

“I can't.”

He doesn't respond, but confusion is painted on his face. Tenten sits up from where she is leaning against the bookcase. She leaves the room and returns with the sleeping baby in her arms.

“Holy fuck.”

Tenten just nods, hovering over Sasuke as she stares down at the baby. It’s so at peace, completely unaware that its mother just tried to kill herself, completely unaware of the trouble it’s causing Tenten. Sasuke is right - Temari needs to go to the hospital, for more reasons than just the childbirth. Tenten has seen a lot of movies, quite a few about children, and never in any of them did a mother attempt suicide right after having her kid. Aren’t children supposed to be joyous things? Aren’t they supposed to make problems go away?

“Who’s the father? Nara?” Sasuke asks, breaking Tenten from her thoughts. She nods and sits down next to him - he seems transfixed by the baby, never taking his eyes off the child. He looks surprisingly tender, and Tenten almost forgets that he tried to murder a number of her friends on several occasions.

“Temari’s going to kill me for telling you about this,” Tenten sighs.

“Not if she kills herself first,” Sasuke says without thinking. He has the nerve to look guilty about this quip, glancing away from the baby for the first time since Tenten carried it in, shooting her an apologetic glance.

Tenten surprises him by laughing. That’s the kind of morbid humor she would normally get from Temari, though lately the Suna kunoichi did very little joking. It’s a pleasant change of pace from the shit she’s currently dealing with. Sasuke, surprised that Tenten isn’t nearly as sensitive as either of their teammates, smiles.

The unlikely trio, Tenten, Sasuke, and the baby, fall into a calm silence. Sasuke thinks of himself, his childhood. How easy he thought it would be, to avenge his clan then restore it by having children. He’s nearing twenty, he’s only had sex a couple of times, and there’s no girl he’s interested in enough to make children with - no girl unimportant and interesting enough for him to make children with. Karin is out somewhere “finding herself”, and, anyway, she’s of the Uzumaki clan. If they had children together, she might not be willing to accept that she and her child would have to give up the Uzumaki name for the sake of Sasuke’s clan. He doesn’t love Karin, or anyone, but that isn’t important to him. He knows that she would marry him if he asked, but even she has her limits. As does Ino, also from a powerful clan. She would not give up her name or allow her child to be an Uchiha. Maybe Sakura would be willing, she isn’t from an important clan, and surely she would marry him with little effort on his part…

“Would you like to hold it?” Tenten asks, forcing Sasuke out of his solitary mind and back into reality. Despite himself, he smirks. Tenten continues. “You’ve been staring at it for some time, I thought you might want to but didn’t know how to ask. It’s getting creepy.”

“It? Don’t you know the kid’s gender?”

Tenten rolls her eyes. “Who am I to assign this thing a gender based on its body parts, when it doesn’t even have a name yet? Do you want to hold the kid or not?”

Sasuke nods slowly. Tenten leans closer to him and he takes the baby from her arms, cradling it in his own. Tenten lets out a breath of relief and stretches her arms high above her head, yawning.

“Shit, I’ve been holding that thing for so long the past couple of hours that my arms are sore as hell,” she says, leaning backwards until she is lying down on the couch. Sasuke moves to the other end, slowly, allowing her to stretch her legs. She watches him with the baby and smiles. “I think you’ve got it covered. I’m gonna take a light nap, wake me up in like forty minutes, cool?”

She sleeps for more than forty minutes because Sasuke does not wake her up. He dozes off soon after she does, worn out from his long-day and having to perform impromptu surgery at two in the morning. The house falls silent and all its inhabitants are in such deep, fatigued sleep that they do not stir when an even quieter presence enters the home.

Neji Hyuuga senses something is amiss as soon as he enters his new house. The smell of blood nearly overwhelms him. Silently, his Byakugan is activated and he searches through the house. Tenten’s chakra signature, in the family room, is the first that he registers, then Sasuke, then Temari in the guest bedroom. An unknown, yet strangely familiar, signature overlaps with Sasuke, but given that Tenten is asleep, it must not be hostile. Temari is weak, injured, but Tenten seems fine, if a little exhausted. It’s Sasuke’s presence that is unusual - neither Tenten nor Temari are particularly keen on the Uchiha, yet there he is, in Neji’s home, sleeping beside Neji’s girlfriend. If he were a lesser man, Neji might be jealous.

He makes his way into the house stealthily, not wanting to arouse any of the sleeping individuals. He places his keys into the bowl on the kitchen table, removes his anbu mask and places it beside the bowl and walks toward the family room.

Tenten lies on her side on the couch, her arms tucked under her head and her feet in Sasuke’s lap. Sasuke’s head is resting on the back of the couch, and there is a dark-haired, dark-skinned baby on his chest. Sasuke has one hand on the baby’s back. His mouth is slightly agape and he snores lightly.

Neji, confused, shakes Tenten’s shoulder lightly. She awakens immediately, sitting up abruptly. This makes Sasuke wake up, and he reflexively puts both arms around the baby who, unsurprisingly, remains asleep. Tenten and Sasuke both look up at Neji - Tenten looking a mix of worried and frustrated, Sasuke impassively. Neji, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, ignores Sasuke.

“Tenten...what is going on here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I will stop starting/ending all of my chapters with dialogue but today is not that day! 
> 
> This one's a little shorter, I needed to move things forward, and I promise I'll stop so much exposition soon. Obviously, this story has a lot of moving parts so the drama....we will get it sooner rather than later. But we will also get the friendship. I was going to try to keep this on the small scale in terms of cast but I feel like that's impossible with Naruto fics. Like, Shikamaru obviously has to come in at some point, which means Ino and Choji surely will appear, and Gaara will be included, which means I have to include Kankuro, and now that Sasuke's in it, Sakura and Karin must make their presences known, and if Sakura is going to be in it, then Sai, Naruto, Kakashi, and Yamato will pop up to....it's an endless cycle.
> 
> ANYWAYYYYYS. I'm excited to see where this goes and I hope you (if anyone is even reading this) are, too. If not, that's fine, because I'm having a lot of fun anyway. 
> 
> See ya next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru appears in Suna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep telling myself I’m going to give myself a light deadline to have these posted every Friday or so but then that does not happen, oops...I will try to update more now that school's over and I'm taking a break from applying for jobs for about a month! Also, happy Pride Month!!!

With the rapid technological and architectural advancements happening in his own village, Shikamaru contemplates moving to Suna, where the buildings will forever be short to avoid earthquakes, meaning the clouds, though more rare, will always be visible. He knows he cannot do this for two reasons: one being his new position as advisor to the five Kages. All five. Unsurprisingly, when he became Hokage after Tsunade stepped down following the War, Kakashi promoted Yamato to the position of his head advisor. In actuality, Yamato is Kakashi’s voice of reason, the one with common sense to combat Maito Gai’s — Kakashi’s other important advisor — brash, passionate decision-making. While Shikamaru is always in the room during meetings, his primary responsibilities have to do with advising all of the Kages on matters that need to be dealt with by all of the great villages. In times like this, with another Kage Summit approaching quickly, Shikamaru tends to be frustratingly busy, going around to the different villages and having endless meetings.

“She’s not home. She’s not in the garden, she’s not anywhere.” Kankuro’s voice enters at the same time as he does, pushing the door open and interrupting the silence in which Shikamaru and Gaara sat. Shikamaru, one arm resting on the back of Gaara’s rather stylish black sofa, turns away from the window and looks at the Kazekage. He frowns in response to Kankuro’s news and faces Shikamaru.

“I’m sorry about this. We’ll work out temporary accommodations until we can find her,” Gaara says, looking quite apologetic. Normally when in Suna, Shikamaru would stay with Temari. It’s been about six or seven months since he’s seen her. He’s spent the last three preparing for the Summit, and he knows Temari has duties unrelated to him or Gaara, so the absence isn’t odd to him, but it is odd that she didn’t meet him at the village entrance when he first arrived much too early in the morning. Even stranger is that he hasn’t heard from her in about a day or two. Normally, this would not be too bad, but it is his birthday. They aren’t sentimental, but she would have sent him a message or called him on his birthday. Many consider twenty-one to be a milestone. For a shinobi, to live to be that old is a blessing.

“Should I be worried?” He asks, looking at Gaara, then Kankuro, then back to Gaara, his expression calm despite the question. He knows that he shouldn’t be, Temari can handle herself, but it’s a question he feels like he needs to ask.

Kankuro shrugs. Gaara says nothing, the expression on his soft face unreadable. Shikamaru muses quietly about how much the Kazekage resembles his sister, their similarity growing with age. They have the same heart-shaped faces and strong jaws, the same teal eyes, the same serious air. They’re spitting images of their mother, which Shikamaru only knows because of the framed photo of her that Temari keeps on the mantle above her fireplace. It’s from Gaara’s birth: the Kazekage is a tiny baby next to his tired, sweaty mother. Temari once caught Shikamaru looking at it, smiled sadly and said, “right before she died.”

Though she has grown to love her brothers and her friends, and perhaps even Shikamaru himself, Temari values her solitude. It isn’t bizarre that she would go off by herself for a while, but she would alert someone. If not her brothers or Shikamaru, then….

“Have you reached out to Tenten?”

Gaara seems genuinely perplexed for a second, but he quickly maintains his composure. He glances to Kankuro who nods wordlessly and sends a quick text. Shikamaru, seeing that there is not much else for him to do, stands and stretches.

“Well, I’m off,” he says with a yawn, “I need to catch up on missed sleep. Let me know if you hear anything.”

Gaara nods and watches him walk out of the room. Kankuro opens his mouth to say something, but Gaara puts a hand up, wordlessly silencing him. He waits until he can no longer hear Shikamaru’s soft footsteps before putting his hand down and directing his attention to his brother.

“What are we going to do when he realizes Temari is not gonna show up?” Kankuro asks, his voice low and deep. “Or worse,” his volume increases a note and he leans on Gaara’s desk, “she shows up with a baby that looks just like him!”

“Hush, Kankuro - he could still be nearby,” Gaara cautions. He hates to lie, especially to someone that he trusts, someone who is supposed to trust him, but his sister comes above any relationships, political or otherwise, that he might have. He would never admit to anyone else, perhaps not even himself on most days, but his duty as a brother comes before his duty as a Kazekage. If he had to trade his whole village to keep his brother and sister safe, he would do so in a heartbeat. When Temari confessed last month that she did not tell Shikamaru about her pregnancy and had no plans on doing so, Gaara said he would support her, even if he didn’t agree with her decision. Shikamaru would not know about the child until Temari is ready to tell him.

“We will figure it out,” Gaara continues, responding to Kankuro’s worrisome questions. “I know every particle of sand in this village. I can keep Temari and the child hidden.”

Kankuro opens his mouth to respond, but is cut off by the sound of a notification on his phone. He glances at it. “Tenten says everything’s fine, that the baby’s beautiful.” He’s about to put it away when it buzzes again. “Oh!”

“What?” Gaara leans forward as Kankuro turns his phone so that his brother can take a look. Tenten has attached a photo of the baby. It’s asleep - a small creature with rich, reddish brown skin and a full head of dark chocolate-colored hair. It has long eyelashes, full, curved lips, and a button nose. It was the perfect blend of both its parents. Another text appears from Tenten:

_ no name yet, total cutie tho - sleep’s like its dad! _

Kankuro stands up straighter, putting his phone away, and watches Gaara, who has a soft smile on his face. He sits quietly at his desk, looking at the spot that Kankuro’s phone was just in. After a few seconds of silence, he glances up at his brother.

“Send that to me, will you?” He asks and Kankuro responds with a nod. “It seems Temari and the baby are in good hands. We won’t alert Shikamaru unless they are in trouble. For now, we try to act as normal.”

“And what if he asks when she’s returning? As your top advisor, she has to sit in on meetings about the Kage Summit. It cannot appear that she has abandoned her duties.”

Gaara sighs. It almost feels like Kankuro wants him to tell Shikamaru. He was even more against Temari’s decision to hide her pregnancy than Gaara was, even threatening to tell Shikamaru at one point. It was the first time Gaara has seen his siblings get into a major argument in years and, if Temari was not almost nine months pregnant at the time, it would have turned physical. Instead, she gave Kankuro the silent treatment for days until Gaara forced him to apologize. Now, it seems like Kankuro wants to take matters into his own hands with Temari gone.

“I will deal with anyone who questions Temari’s absence,” Gaara responds evenly. “Now, please, I need to be alone.”

Gaara can see on his face that Kankuro is not pleased with this response, but nonetheless, he bows and exits the office. Sighing, Gaara rests his chin in his palm and considers his predicament.

A couple of blocks away, in a vacant apartment set up for him suspiciously well, Shikamaru has just woken up. He checks his phone and, upon seeing no messages from anyone at all, calls Tenten. He knows something is amiss - he can feel it. This apartment is too much to his taste to have been a makeshift set up done by Kankuro. It’s as if this has been here for a while, yet it looks so fresh and unlived in. It’s not unlikely that someone just rented it within the past month or two, and there are enough accents that he likes to have been a coincidence. There are even outfits appropriate for Suna’s weather in his size in the closet. This is Temari’s doing.

“Yo, Shikamaru!” Tenten’s high-pitched voice fills his ears. She sounds carefree, happy, light. Shikamaru knows right away that this is a ruse. He doesn’t know Tenten as well as he should, considering she is his girlfriend’s best friend, but he knows from Temari that Tenten is prone to bouts of melancholy, especially when she is alone. Before he left for Suna, Shikamaru knew that Neji was on an extended mission, as was Lee, and Gai is busy helping Kakashi with the Kage Summit, meaning that Tenten has spent much of her time alone as of late. Unless Neji returned early, there is no reason she should be quite so bubbly.

“Where is Temari?” Shikamaru asks, not bothering with pleasantries. “I’m in Suna and her brothers say she’s nowhere to be found.” He doesn’t bother not trying to sound worried. Tenten has seen him cry more than once, and Temari has been the reason behind some of those tears. He’s too old - twenty-one, as of today - to be ashamed of his emotions anymore.

Tenten barely pauses and her tone becomes more serious. “You know, she texted me a couple of days ago. She’s been real stressed lately, so I suggested we go to Yugakure for a short vacation. She already has a head start and if you haven’t heard from her it’s likely because connection is sometimes poor in the surrounding area. I’m actually leaving later today, but I’ll text you when I meet up with her!”

“Okay,” Shikamaru says, nodding. He doesn’t believe her, but he cannot place why. Because he is not one to jump to conclusions with no evidence, he decides he will leave it alone for now. Wherever Temari is, she does not want to be found, at least not by him. Her brothers must know her whereabouts, as must Tenten. He will not probe - yet. “That’s good to hear, thanks.”

“No problem!” Tenten responds cheerfully. “And Shikamaru - happy birthday!”

A wave of fatigue washes over him. “Thanks, Tenten. Talk to you later.” He hangs up and decides that he should get to the bottom of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but all the pieces are coming together. I hope that this chapter wasn't boring but I wanted to bring Shikamaru in. These lies are going to catch up to Tenten and Temari and it's not going to be good...
> 
> I wanted Shikamaru to make an appearance, but at the same time, I don't know if I'm going to keep the point-of-view switches consistent from chapter to chapter - this isn't A Song of Ice and Fire lol. Also, can I just say that it's hella hard to maintain present tense HOW do people do it?!?!?!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Can't wait til the next one!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neji isn't happy, Shikamaru solves a puzzle, and Temari wakes up.
> 
> (C/W: brief suicide attempt mention, suicide ideation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all...I am so sorry. I went on vacation and then started a new job immediately after coming back so I just have not been thinking about this thing at all. To make up for my absence, I included A LOT in this chapter, even though part of me really wanted to split it into two. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Neither Sasuke nor Tenten respond to Neji, instead exchanging glances. Tenten is keeping a secret from him, _him_ , that, somehow, the Uchiha is privy to. He counts in his head to keep himself calm. He turns to his girlfriend, though she makes no indication that she will respond to his inquiry.

“I know you’re considering lying to me,” Neji says, his voice even, “but I suggest that you do not. Let’s start more simply. Who’s child is that?”

“Temari’s,” Tenten responds quickly, “but you know that already. I really didn’t want to tell you this because it’s not my secret to share, but she was pregnant with Shikamaru’s baby, and me and her brothers are the only ones who know, and she came here so that I could help her deliver it. And I did a damn good job, too.”

Neji feels his lip twitch and he resists smiling. He has questions, he needs answers, and he will not allow himself to be distracted by his girlfriend being irritatingly adorable. He frowns, so that she knows he means business, and barely glances at Sasuke, who seems disinterested in this whole thing. 

“Why is...he here?” 

Tenten doesn’t respond as quickly. Her mouth twists into a strange sort of frown, and she glares at the floor, blinking rapidly. Sasuke, annoyingly, takes notice of this and responds for her. Neji has the urge to literally throw the man out of his house. 

“The blonde chick tried to kill herself in the bathtub while Tenten was dealing with the brat. She called me because I’m the only person she knows who is not an idiotic gossip that would go tell someone about this.” 

Neji sighs. Tenten is leaning so far forward that her head is tucked between her knees. Her shoulders are shaking, but Neji knows that she is not crying. Even now, seven months shy of her twenty-second birthday, Tenten does everything in her power to resist the urge to cry. She still associates it with weakness, and she would be damned if she made any indication of being weak, especially in front of Sasuke. Neji thinks this belief of hers is nonsense, but there is no convincing her otherwise. Instead, he kneels down in front of her, resting a hand on her shoulder.  

“Tenten,” he says, in as soft a voice as he can muster, “clearly, Temari is dealing with something we cannot begin to fathom. We have to call her brothers, then Shikamaru. She needs them now.” 

Tenten does not lift her head, so her voice sounds muffled when she responds. “I promised her that I wouldn’t tell anyone.” 

“Well,” Sasuke says, for once in his life agreeing with Neji, “you’ve already broken that promise by telling Hyuga and I. What difference does it make if you tell a few more people?” 

Tenten lifts her head and turns to glare at Sasuke. “Either you’re an idiot or you think I’m an idiot, which would make you an _idiot_.”

This time, Neji does smile. Nothing makes his day more than hearing Tenten sass people, especially a person he finds so deplorable. 

“Remind me never to help you again,” Sasuke snaps. “Take this fucking baby, I’m out of here.” He lifts the baby off his chest, hands it to Tenten with the utmost care and tenderness, and stands. He looks down at Neji with a deep frown. “Your interior design sucks, by the way.”

Without waiting for a response, he walks out of the door. Tenten watches him leave with a small, playful smirk on her face. “What a prick.”

“Agreed,” Neji nods, but is quick to change the subject, “now, Tenten–”

He’s interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing. She reaches for it quickly, grabbing it off the glass coffee table, but is careful not to stir the child. She frowns, “shit! This has to be a fucking joke–” she continues mumbling expletives until she answers the phone with a fake, cheerful tone, “Yo, Shikamaru!”

For a brief moment, Neji is hopeful that Tenten will tell Shikamaru the truth, but she disappoints him almost immediately. She pauses, listening to Shikamaru, and then nods, replying with a rather believable lie with no hesitation. Tenten is normally quite honest, but between this, and her desire to lie to him when he first got home, Neji can’t help but be a little annoyed by his girlfriend’s behavior. He wasn’t expecting to come home from a long mission to find his girlfriend acting completely out of character. He understands that she’s trying to help her friend, but even Temari must know that a secret like this would not stay a secret. Maybe Sasuke would not let it slip, but someone would find out somehow. How could a child be raised in secrecy?

Mere moments after Tenten hangs up her phone, Neji’s vibrates. He takes it out of his pocket and sees that he has a text from Shikamaru. 

_back ? need 2 talk_

“You’re not as good at deception as you think you are, so I suggest you quit while you’re ahead.” Neji turns his phone so that Tenten can see the screen. Tenten’s mouth drops open. She frowns, looking down at the baby cradled in her arms. That baby that looks so much like Shikamaru, that will probably continue to grow more and more like its father as it ages. Tenten had been so focused on Temari’s well-being, that she didn’t think about how Shikamaru would play into all of this. Neji is right, he’d find out at some point. It isn’t fair to keep this from him, but…. it isn’t her place to tell him, either. 

“What are you going to say to him?” 

Neji stands up. He looks down at Tenten, who is rocking the baby slowly and carefully. The baby breathes softly, completely at peace in Tenten’s arms. Seeing this makes Neji picture what it will be like when he and Tenten eventually had children, if it ever came to that. He’s pleasantly surprised by how gentle she is with the baby for someone who allegedly hates kids. 

Every rational part of him is screaming at him to tell Shikamaru what’s happening here, especially because Shikamaru would do that for him if their roles were reversed, but…

Tenten, who spent years supporting him through his darkest times, who cheered him on and gave him love even when he didn’t deserve it, who became his family when his father died, even if he didn’t want a family at the time, who is his family _now_ – Tenten, who is not asking for much from him, only secrecy. He gives his Hokage that and more everyday. Sighing, he puts his phone in his pocket.

“I will not interfere, but if I run into him and he reaches out to me again with more specific questions, I will not lie either,” Neji responds, crossing his arms over his chest. “When Temari awakens, I suggest you two discuss when and how you are going to tell him. He’s the smartest man in Konoha. He will figure it out, probably quickly, and the shady behavior is only going to make that happen faster.” 

Tenten nods and grins. “Of course, of course. Thank you so much, Neji, I mean it. I’m sorry for getting you involved in this mess, but I’m the person Temari trusts most in the world, and you’re the person I trust most in the world.”

Neji returns her smile with a small one of his own and leans forward to kiss her forehead. He gives her shoulder a squeeze and walks to the bedroom to get ready for bed. Tenten leans against the back of the couch and exhales. She positions the baby on her chest and closes her eyes. 

 

While Neji and Tenten are just heading to sleep despite it being morning-time, Temari is finally waking up. It’s ironic, but the only thing she remembers thinking about while pushing the baby out, while resting after pushing the baby out, while using the recently-sharpened kunai she found in Tenten’s room to open her wrists, is clouds. After months of compartmentalizing, of forcing herself to disregard Shikamaru and her ideas of what he might feel about this pregnancy, she thinks of clouds while her baby is being born. Temari doesn’t believe in any Gods, but if she did, she would blame them for such a coincidence.

Anyone who doesn’t know her well would assume Temari and Tenten get along so well because they hate weakness, but that isn’t the case. Quite the opposite, really. Temari could appreciate anyone who allowed themselves to be weak. There’s strength in vulnerability, or at least that’s what Temari is telling herself now as she curses her inability to be vulnerable. She wants to blame her father for raising her and her brothers the way that he did– though, to even say that he raised them at all is laughable– but Gaara welcomes vulnerability. Kankuro has also mellowed with age. Temari, up until now, has retained her reputation for ruthlessness. That is, she’s known for not taking any shit. She and Tenten are the same in this regard, but she considers it a fatal flaw, while Tenten thinks its her most valuable asset. Temari values her village, values her duties above all else— she is known to work alone because she didn't like having to watch other people’s backs. Her village and her brothers have always been her priority. Anything and anyone else is second to that. 

As the eldest, and the only girl, Temari has never prioritized herself. Even during her pregnancy, never once did she think about what she might want. She thought about what would be best for her baby, her village. It wasn’t until last night after the labor, after she heard Tenten leave with the baby in her arms, that Temari considered what she wanted. In doing so, she learned that she could never do that again because in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to die. Last night, she learned that she could be a selfish woman when her mind is set on her own desires. The single-mindedness of it terrified her. The fact that she didn’t think about the baby proved to her that she had it right all along; she is not in the baby’s best interest.

She sits up in bed, wincing. Whoever healed her did a good job stitching her up, but the pain is still there. She’s been through worse, though, so after a few minutes of sitting immobile, she forces herself out of bed. She has to lean against the nightstand to steady herself. She stands there, taking slow, deep breaths, until she feels ready to move again. She is dressed in a pair of Tenten’s pajamas, the pants stopping short on her legs and the shirt being just a bit too tight around her chest. Tenten has the decency to leave her another change of clothes, though Temari always felt weird about wearing Tenten’s cultural garb. She ignores this feeling and gets dressed, fighting through the pain so she can act quickly. She needs to be gone before Tenten wakes up. She slips on her shoes and leaves the guest bedroom. She knows it would be better to leave through the window in the bedroom, to avoid waking Tenten or the baby, but she can’t resist. She has to see her son. The living room is right next to the guest bedroom, so she sees them immediately. Tenten is stretched out on the couch, two pillows under her head and her feet propped up on the armrest, and the baby is on her chest. There’s a lilac-colored blanket on top of them. Tenten has one hand on the baby’s back and the other holding his butt. Temari takes one step closer, leaning her body slightly forward to get a better look. He has inherited his father’s hair color and texture, but it is curly like hers, and he’s dark-skinned, too, the same shade as Tenten. His chest is moving up and down slowly, in sync with Tenten’s breathing. It’s a pretty picture, one she isn’t ready to ruin just yet. She smiles sadly, but refuses to allow herself to linger anymore. She whispers, so low that she almost doesn’t hear herself, “I’m sorry, Ten,” and leaves the house.

* * *

 

The sun has only been up for an hour in Konoha, but in Suna, the day starts off quietly for Shikamaru Nara. He would never be awake before ten in the morning of his own volition, but he could not turn down a breakfast meeting with Gaara, and he wanted to call Tenten before he left. His boss would not have minded– Kakashi isn’t a morning person himself– but if Temari happened to be at the meeting, or if she heard that Shikamaru stood up her little brother, she would throw a fit. Part of him wants to skip it, just to see if she will finally come out of hiding. Instead, he gets in the shower and prepares to leave. 

Once dressed and ready, Shikamaru checks his phone. Nothing from Temari, Tenten, or Neji. There’s a notification from Kankuro, reminding him of the breakfast meeting and a text from Ino inquiring if he safely made it to Suna, but that’s it. Frowning, he unlocks his phone and reviews the message he sent Neji. He sees that Neji read the message right after he sent it, but there is no response, which is strange for Neji. 

He considers involving Ino because she makes his life both easier and harder. For example, she would nag him about failing in his duties as a boyfriend because his girlfriend thought it would be easier to avoid him than seek his help in whatever issue she’s having. That would make his life slightly harder because Shikamaru hates to be lectured at. However, once she was done nagging, Ino could use her mind-transfer techniques on Tenten and figure out what’s going on with relative ease. Shikamaru doesn’t want to take it that far, though, at least not yet. If Tenten, Neji, and her brothers refuse to loop him in, Shikamaru would figure things out himself.

A lesser man would be annoyed, hurt, angry, but Shikamaru only smiles to himself, remembering his first impression of Temari: she’s troublesome. Clearly, that hasn’t changed. In fact, Temari has gotten _more_ high-strung and insufferable with age, but Shikamaru takes after his father. He wouldn’t be content in life with a mellow, easy woman. From Temari, to Ino, to his mother, Shikamaru is surrounded by troublesome women, and he likes it that way. He would put up with Temari’s wild goose chase until his curiosity becomes concern. If anything is seriously wrong with her, Gaara would have told him, so he would let it be…

But, annoying as it is, his curiosity got the better of him. After his rather quick meeting with Gaara, who yet again made excuses for Temari’s absence, Shikamaru goes to her apartment. 

All the curtains are drawn shut so Shikamaru walks into complete darkness. When he turns on the light, things seem ordinary, save for the faint smell of bleach. Upon second glance, Shikamaru notices that it is cleaner than usual. Temari normally keeps her space pretty organized, but this is next level. The kitchen counters are shining, everything is put away, and certain things are...missing. He walks around, checking cabinets and closets. Strangely, her fan is tucked away in the storage closet next to the mop. So wherever she is, she didn’t think she would need protection. Either she has escorts, or someone met up with her - there must have been some truth in Tenten’s story. The two likely met up somewhere between Konoha and Suna. The who and how are all but confirmed, now Shikamaru thinks about the why. Surely, Temari left him hints, even if she didn’t mean to. 

He goes to the bathroom to pee, but while he's there, he looks inside her cabinets. The medicine cabinet looks normal, and so does under the bathroom sink, but Shikamaru quickly notices that there are a few key things missing, like her stash of tampons and the prescription drugs she took to deal with any painful injuries after hard missions. 

Shikamaru frowns and he leaves the bathroom. He goes into Temari’s bedroom as his last stop after looking through the whole apartment so that he can sit on her bed and think. As soon as he opens the door, his eyes immediately register the out-of-place thing in the room: a baby’s crib, carved out of wood and so intricate with its designs that he knows Kankuro made it, right next to the bed. 

Much to his constant irritation, Shikamaru is well-known throughout the villages– perhaps even the world– for his genius intellect. His IQ is well over 200, he’s an expert strategist that advises people many years older than him, he could be a professional shogi player if he wanted, and, if he ever had the desire to do so, he could probably read through a thousand-page book in an hour, maybe less. 

Now, Shikamaru is not a prideful man. He would be the first to admit that his emotional intelligence is not quite up to par. He hates confrontation, which is why it took him ten months to try to figure out what his girlfriend is up to, and he is not beneath avoiding things he does not want to deal with. He knew something was going on with Temari for a while. She’d been ...different, in ways he chose not to address. The assumption he made, and avoided, was that she wanted to end things with him. She started isolating herself, stopped accompanying Gaara to Konoha, texted and called Shikamaru less, but she never made any indication of what was wrong. Shikamaru was more than happy to live in ignorance if it meant he didn’t have to deal with getting dumped.

This, he should have expected. He can picture Ino laughing in his face when he tells her about this. Then, she would surely lecture him. Temari couldn’t even trust him enough to tell him that she’s…

He sits on the edge of the bed, his back to the crib, and rests his elbows on his knees. He holds his face in his hands, staring out of the window with a deep frown. This isn’t something he can ignore until it goes away. It won’t go away– not the baby, not this gaping hole that he feels growing in his chest as he thinks of Temari, thinks of how she– and her brothers, and Tenten, and maybe even Neji, who is supposed to be his friend– hid this from him. For once, hundreds of solutions have not popped into his head within seconds of discovering his problem. He has no idea what he’s going to do about this. The only thing that he does know is, despite the stinging he feels in his eyes and the tugging he feels in his chest, he would not cry here, in this strange, empty apartment that used to be so familiar to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “why does Shikamaru text like a teenage boy?” Well, this is something I got from Elementary. Sherlock is incredibly smart, like Shikamaru, and tends to text in incomprehensible acronyms and super shorthand because it’s ‘faster’ or wastes less brain power or something (I don’t remember the reason). I imagine that Shikamaru would do this too, but because he’s too lazy to type out full sentences and use punctuation. Beyond that, I’m sorry if he (or Sasuke) are out of character. I have never really written them before so that’s new to me. Bare with me as I try to improve. 
> 
> Also, the timing is a little off so I went back and edited previous chapters to make it work. So, in chapter one Temari has the baby during the day (let’s say between 12-2pm) after hours of labor, then Tenten cares for the baby for hours until nighttime when she goes to the hospital. Temari attempts suicide in that time frame. In chapter two, it is during the day in Suna– in my envisioning, Suna and Konoha have slightly different time-zones, like New York and California, so Suna is three hours ahead - i.e, it is 3pm in Suna when it is noon in Konoha. So while most of chapter one takes place at night, chapter two actually takes place a couple hours prior. By the time Neji gets home in chapter three, it’s like 5/6am (8/9am in Suna). I know this doesn’t really matter to anyone else but I wanted to clear it up so nobody’s confused lol.  
> Finally, (I promise one day I won’t have long ass end-notes), I corrected all the chapters for typos and grammar stuff BUT, I made some changes to the end of the last chapter. A comment from Meai94 got me thinking and I agreed that it makes sense for Shikamaru to have figured out what is going on with her and Tenten, so I fixed the chapter to reflect that. 
> 
> I apologize if this feels rushed, especially the latter half. I wrote it pretty quickly because I just needed to get it out, and I really just wanted Shikamaru to find out, I was tired of the games. The next chapter, I promise both my readers and myself, will be better. I hope you stick with me through this wonderful thing.


End file.
